


A Little Light in the Darkness

by talkcummingtome (TalkCummingToMe)



Series: Abandonment/Age Regression Verse [7]
Category: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy RPF
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Roommates/Housemates, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, I Will Go Down With This Ship, M/M, clingy!Antoni, protective!Tan, touch starvation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-14
Updated: 2018-09-14
Packaged: 2019-07-12 07:39:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15990677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalkCummingToMe/pseuds/talkcummingtome
Summary: In which Antoni craves physical touch like a thirsty person craves water.





	A Little Light in the Darkness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [thirstforfirth (QueenOfSparrabeth)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfSparrabeth/gifts).



> I didn't think I'd ever finish this one.

"Daddy..."

 

Antoni's voice is soft, almost as though he doesn't actually want Tan to hear. His daddy already does so much for him; he really shouldn't ask for anything else. And yet, there's a part of him that wants to be able to ask Tan for anything without feeling like an unwanted burden.

 

"Daddy..."

 

Tears begin to fill Antoni's eyes as he flinches over the loudness of his voice. Well, so much for not wanting his daddy to hear, he thinks. He sniffles, wanting desperately to crawl into his daddy's arms as tears continue to fall. He needs touch in ways he doesn't want to have to explain; plus, he's sure Tan would leave if he knew, like everyone else he's ever cared about.

 

"What's wrong, baby?" Tan's voice is soft as he settles next to him on the couch, not wanting to scare Antoni. "Come here."

 

Antoni looks up, eyes red and cheeks puffy, as he crawls into his daddy's lap among a flurry of shaky Polish. He can't seem to stop crying, tears pouring from his eyes and soaking into the front of Tan's shirt. Tan holds him tightly, more than used to his baby boy's sudden mood swings, and lets him wear himself out crying as he rubs his back in gentle circles. Antoni will tell him everything in due time, he knows.

 

"Daddy is right here, sweetheart," he continues, tone still soft. "You're safe; daddy's got you."

 

Antoni shifts, trying to get closer to his daddy as he holds on as tightly as he can. He wants to tell Tan, he really does, but the old doubts and memories of being forgotten are currently too strong to fight against.

 

"Can you tell daddy what's wrong, baby?" Tan murmurs, carding gentle fingers through Antoni's hair. "I know you sometimes worry about being too needy, but you could never be too needy for me, baby boy, I promise. And I'll tell you this as many times as you need to hear it."

 

Antoni sniffles as he thinks this over. He can't - or won't - look at his daddy as he realizes how pathetic he must seem. Plus, if he's going to be honest, the thought of letting go of his daddy for any reason is far too much for him to bear. Tears prickle at his eyes and he buries his face back into his daddy's chest as the floodgates open. Tan rocks him gently, wiping the tears from his baby's eyes.

 

"Do you really mean that?" Antoni looks up, a tiny ray of hope shining in his eyes. "I...I...just need you more than I care to admit, and there's this little voice in the back of my head that keeps saying 'everyone leaves eventually' and it scares me."

 

"Yes, baby, I really do," Tan soothes. "Now, what's really going on, sweetheart? You know you can tell me anything."

 

Antoni sighs, momentarily lapsing into Polish as he collects his thoughts. "I know I ask for a lot from you...but I...I also can't be such a burden to you, daddy. I won't let myself."

 

"Oh sweetheart," Tan murmurs. "You're not a burden to me, I swear. Daddy loves you so, so much, you know that?"

 

Antoni is stunned as he hears this. "But daddy, I...I'm touch-starved all the time. I crave it so badly it hurts and I feel numb inside when you're not holding me."

 

Tan's own eyes fill with tears as he hears this. "Oh, sweetheart..."

 

"My parents weren't big on it, either," he continues. "And my nannies only did enough to keep me alive; like, they fed me and such, but only cause they were paid to."

 

He falls silent after this, turning away from his daddy so he won't see the pain in his eyes as yet more tears fall. Tan, however, gathers Antoni closer and presses long, tender kisses to the spots just under his eyelids. Antoni buries his face into Tan's chest after a moment, needing the comfort it provides as Tan's heartbeat echoes in his ears, a soothing beat that reminds him that he's loved by the one that matters most.

 

"Rest your head, baby boy," Tan murmurs. "Daddy loves you."


End file.
